Scots Wha Hae

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.

Lulu, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Lulu said, 'Sean, if Ah'm no bein too forward, Ah'd love tae have sex wi an aulder man. Let's go back tae mah place.'

So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean says, 'If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have even better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and my wullie in your right hand.'

Lulu looks a bit perplexed, but says, 'Okay.'

He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.

Then Sean says, 'Lulu, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. But again, you must hold my bawls in your left hand, and my wullie in your right hand.'

Lulu is now used to the routine and complies. The results are mind blowing. Once it's all over, and the cigarettes are lit, Lulu asks 'Sean, tell me, dis mah haudin yer bawls in mah left hand and yer wullie in mah right stimulate ye while ye're sleepin?'

Sean replies, 'No, but the lasht time I shlept with a Glashwegian, she shtole my wallet!'